Since I started on my journey of self-discovery and healing I have changed my ways of eating. You see, I finally realized that if I don’t focus on taking care of ME, I will never be able to offer anything good to my marriage or anyone else for that matter. I needed to learn how to really take care of myself…..FIRST. So around the very end of February I began taking probiotics. Decided my gut could use a little replenishing of some good ol’ flora bacteria. I decided to take my road to wellness one baby step at a time and THAT is what has kept me on track.

In the past I always had this “all or nothing” mentality and that never did work for me. So whenever I would start being too self-critical, I would stop and tell myself that I’m doing a good job. I would and do remind myself how far I’ve come since February and not to stop because as long as I keep doing what I need to do today, I WILL be satisfied later on. I can’t give up this time so I’ve promised to not be so dingity dangity hard on myself!  The following is from a May 5, 2012 journal excerpt….

“I also started taking probiotics about a week or so ago and I’m definitely less bloated. Didn’t have to struggle as much gettin’ me pants on!”

I see and feel new changes from each step I take and that has helped me to stay on track. I also have been avoiding processed foods and refined white sugar since the middle of May, 2012. Oh, and LOTS of water throughout the day is KEY! Pretty soon I was taking wheatgrass 2-3 times a day (after tons of research)…..THAT has drastically changed me for the better! I have lost an inch or more throughout my body, dropping down two pant sizes…..and I haven’t even started “working out” yet! I quickly noticed after about a week or two of regular doses of wheatgrass shots that I’d NEVER felt so clear headed and energetic…..EVER! As an artist I’ve never felt so creative, either! Wow, who knew a healthy diet could improve my life this much?!?

For the first time I actually believe I can wean off of the antidepressants I have been so dependent on for so long. For the first time in my life I’m learning how to love myself and accept and embrace what sets me apart from everyone else. For the first time in my life I’m starting to believe in myself. For the first time in my life I feel excitement! I stand up taller as a result of my newfound confidence. Sure, therapy and close friends have a lot to do with my recovery from severe depression, too! But eating the right balance of foods every day has to be everyone’s number one priority to becoming whole (in my opinion). You have nothing without your health; it all begins with caring for yourself.

So what’s the problem? Well, it’s rather difficult to keep up with daily, healthy eating when money is scarce. But it is so important that I keep up with it or else I will surely backslide into “the pit” once again. That’s a place I NEVER want to return.

So, with healthy food being my number one priority on my road to wellness I struggle with where I could possibly go for such a “barter-ship”.

  • I can offer murals for homes and businesses (indoor or out)……

  • Portraits (a specialty of mine)

  • Custom Airbrushing for motorcycles, cars and yes, even boats (oye).

I would just hope that whoever is gracious enough to enter into a bartering agreement with me, know and appreciate and understand one thing……..

I produce high-end, professional, one-of-a-kind works of art. It does take a little time and I refuse to compromise on quality in order to just “get it done”. I put my heart and soul into every piece of art I create. It’s a part of me and the desire for it to be “right” in my mind’s eye cannot be helped. With that said, you can rest assured that whatever I produce would be my best and most honest effort.

And I think it would be a great way to get to know new and interesting people in my community!

www.PhantomPhenders.com

 

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One response »

  1. Little did I know how long the road to recovery actually was. This was 4 years ago. I’ve been through a lot since I wrote this. Had many more severe bouts of depression…but I got through it and finally received deliverance from depression a month ago! And, yes, I did write about it.

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