Giving up is easy, but not at all satisfying……

It’s so easy to give in when it gets tough, but here’s a question…. is it really “easy” to give up and live the REST OF YOUR LIMITED LIFE in misery? …….

OR…..

Should you just face the storm already? Get it over with! The time will pass regardless of what you choose to do with it.

My pattern of choosing “easy” has never resulted in a positive outcome. For most of my life, I have continued to do the

Same.

                     Old.

                                       Thing……

Yet, expect a different outcome every time……Wah! … Poor me! … Wah! … Poor me! No wonder I was so damn miserable! My soul was groaning for growth but, for whatever reason, I was unable to hear it. Most advice and criticisms were like red hot daggers slicing through my sensitive wittle heart. Sure, I could feel my soul was restless but I couldn’t identify the root of the problem. I didn’t know what the problem was! I believed I was a victim and therefore lived like one….. Helpless. Hopeless. Fearful.

Why has it taken me so long to see? It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I just couldn’t see past myself. Ouch! I know, right?!? It still stings a bit each time I hear myself admit I’ve been selfish……………….. Ow.

I’ve been living only for myself, but marriage has opened my eyes to so many personal issues! And I’m so thankful for these lessons I am learning. It takes time to truly grow into the person God wants you to be…… it takes time……….. L O T S  O F  T I M E …… . Maybe it’s taken me longer than most because I just wasn’t willing to see the truth yet? Or maybe, just maybe, I needed my life to go exactly the way it has in order for me to finally accept myself for who I am? It’s been tricky and I still battle with myself on occasion, but I am finding it gets easier to endure and follow through with the struggles. Each and every time I choose to enter into a new phase of personal growth, I become stronger. Now that I love who I am, the barrier has been demolished and I am no longer holding myself captive. I am free to move!

I still think about myself, of course. I have to! Part of my problem was that I wasn’t taking care of myself……at all….. So obviously, there are things we all have to be responsible for and health and well-being are a MUST on the priority list of responsibilities! But what I must purposefully do, until it becomes a natural trait, is to think of how, each day, I can be a blessing to someone else. And, WITH TIME, I will be a better person for it!

So with this new year comes new goals and excitement for the future. And I’m grateful to myself for not giving up this time. It’s nice to be able to look back and see how much I’ve changed for the better, but I still have a whole lotta work to do! I’m an ongoing, non-stop, work in progress; may my diligence never cease and my love continue to grow each and every day.

12/13/2016…I must have been high when I wrote this, too. What the hell was I even talking about?!?! “Now that I love who I am”?!?! REALLY?!?! Yes, I am still a work in progress, but I’ve given up many times since I wrote whatever this was supposed to be about.

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2 responses »

  1. Need to take my own advice after reading this. I sure can talk the talk but really suck at walking the walk.

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