Why do I struggle more than the average Joe? Why do I have such a dislike for myself? Why am I so insecure about what people think of me? I thought I had conquered this problem but it seems to have me “by the balls” again. I need to find out the root of my problem…..before my entire life becomes ruined due to self-sabotage and fear and self-loathing. This depression shit has to stop.

I hate how pathetic I am. My husband does almost everything for me. You’d think he was caring for a child. But I can’t seem to function without his help. Or maybe I’ve just become reliant on him because I know he’ll always be willing to take care of me. He loves me. Poor bastard.

I need to pull myself together! What the hell is my problem anyway?!?! I have a husband who loves and supports me in anything I want to do. I don’t want to be a burden. I want to be a partner who contributes. So that’s my goal. The end.

Oh. And phuck what anyone says about me. They don’t know what my demons are and it’s none of their business anyway.


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