These pics are twenty years old. I was 19 in most of them…..When I look back at these pictures all I see is a kid who had no sense of self….someone who thought if she could make it in modeling THEN she would be happy. THEN people would love and accept her. This girl lived in an unrealistic world where she thought things would just “come” to her and she wouldn’t have to worry about anything. (Well, THAT didn’t happen…EVER.) She thought this was all she had to offer, but being the center of attention didn’t sit well with her. She had no self-worth and was looking for approval in all the wrong places….I was so wrong and I’m thankful for never falling into such a dark and ruthless industry. In the state I was in, well, they would have eaten me alive. I’ve since learned that what you look like doesn’t define who you are. All these years of feeling like if I could just look and feel a certain way, then I’d be happy….as I approach 40 I finally feel as though I’m starting to understand where my worth lies…and it has NOTHING to do with what I look like. It’s crazy to think how long it is taking me to feel comfortable in my own skin (and I’m still not there but I’m finally on my way)….It’s crazy to think about how trapped I have been inside my own mind; a mind that has been warped from all the lies I have believed about myself. God is freeing me from myself and I’m so thankful to know who Jesus truly is. I’ve believed in Him a long time but never understood just what I had as a child of God. I was in my own way for so long I missed out on all He had to offer.

Thank God for Lakes Region Vineyard Church! Thank God for Pastor Dick

and Martha C.AuCoin and Barbara Blinn and everyone else at that church who has accepted and respected me regardless of where I’m at….

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7

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