Trying to push through it….trying to “put on my armor” but am failing miserably. I have no good reason why I feel so bad. I’m not some victim of sex trafficking…I don’t have cancer…my husband doesn’t beat me….Yet I just can’t seem to be happy….ever. Sure, there are glimpses of how great I can be but it never lasts for very long. Did the pill thing for ten years but that was never a cure and I don’t care to destroy my liver by being on anti-depressants for the rest of my life. I just don’t know. Guess I’ll go up for prayer tomorrow at church even though I’ve been prayed over about this very problem for over twenty years now. Please God, deliver me from this depression once and for all or at least show me what else I can do to help myself….give me the right scriptures to declare out loud and open my mouth to get the words out because it seems to be clamped shut.


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