So it’s back to “business as usual” as though nothing ever happened. It’s as though we never had any volatile conversations. Whatever. I need a break anyway. Friday is his birthday and we’re going to a comedy show in Boston. I bought the tickets in December and there were soooo many times I wondered if we would even make it, considering the state of our marriage. But we are definitely going which is good because we never go anywhere and the tickets are non-refundable AND I’ve been looking forward to finally laughing. Jo Koy cracks me up…I’ll be sure to have my inhaler on standby.

As of today he seems to be in a good mood and he thinks he may have made some good connections as far as getting into the “new place.” We’ll see. I stopped listening years ago.

But if we DID actually get into the place, finally moving into a new, bigger space that we don’t have to share with anyone else would be nice. A new environment is desperately needed for my sanity. Still don’t know if that would help our relationship but it would help the overall mood…for a while anyway. A new space would be uplifting in many respects, but it’s not going to magically fix the main issues.

I’m not going to stress about it anymore. I’m just going to trust God and let things unfold in His timing, not mine. I do believe anything is possible with God and I’m just going to rest in the eye of this storm. And when the wind starts to pick up again perhaps I’ll be better at fixing my eyes on Jesus instead of focusing on the chaos.

UPDATE 4/24/2018

So it turns out our tenants downstairs are moving out next month. They bought a house. So I can finally move back downstairs which means I’ll finally have a decent kitchen, a bath tub and my laundry room back…no more having to go to the laundromat. But we still have to rent out the upstairs (where we currently reside) in order to help pay for the mortgage. I was hoping we would have the entire house back to ourselves in order to have some space from each other, but that’s just not possible.

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