I’ve posted about this before, but it’s good to repeatedly speak of what God has done…
I was nine years old when it happened.
I remember sitting in my dad’s car listening to him tell me about Jesus. He was dropping me back off at home after another Sunday visit (my mother had full custody). Before I got out of the car to go inside he told me about how, if I ask Jesus to come into my heart,

                         He will.

I honestly can’t remember details of this talk, but that night after I had gone to bed, I remembered what Dad had said earlier in the day. As I lay on my belly with my little cheek pressed against the pillow, I began to pray to Jesus. I told Him how I wanted Him in my life. I asked Him to

        “PLEASE come into my heart.”

The more I prayed the deeper the sincerity became until I was

         sobbing UNCONTROLLABLY

into a now wet pillow, pleading with Him to come into my heart. I remember feeling COMPLETELY DESPERATE for Him.


a powerful energy I’d never felt before entered into my back,

        went directly into my heart

and then spread throughout my body. At the time I believe I referred to it as

       “a giant gush of love.”

I know now it was the Holy Spirit. Jesus LITERALLY came into my heart! The peace was immediate and I went right to sleep. The next day I remember standing out in my yard, raising my hands up to the sky and hoping for that feeling to happen again, but it never did.

        But I knew Jesus was with me.

I remember all this like it was yesterday. I was a child crying out to Jesus with a sincerity that couldn’t have been any purer. I was not expecting to feel anything that night. Didn’t know I COULD expect to feel anything. I didn’t even know about the Holy Spirit! All I knew was that I needed Jesus. I didn’t need any proof of His existence.

   I just knew that I knew that I knew.

I wanted Him in my life. I asked Him to come into my heart. With my face pressed into my pillow I sobbed with a desperation that could have only come from a deep, inner knowing that my heart was incomplete. Only by the grace of God could I have been aware of such a thing at the tender age of nine. My dad used to tell me a lot of things as a kid, most of which I could not understand, but when he simply told me about Jesus I knew it was true. It was the one time he managed to relay something to me in terms I could grasp. Imagine my surprise when God literally entered the depths of my heart upon an innocent child’s request. A most pleasant surprise indeed.

         So sudden!

     So unexpected!

And the peace was immediate. Lying on my little belly, crying out to Jesus to come into my heart and then Him responding in the most literal of ways. The energy was immense! It shot right through my back, directly into my heart (just like I had asked) and then spread throughout my entire tiny frame with such warmth and love…well, it’s beyond words. After that I knew without a doubt that Jesus was with me. I had been sealed by the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 1:13-14

13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

My brother once suggested that is was merely endorphins I felt that night…nothing supernatural. But no, big brother, that was not the work of endorphins…especially when one is not expecting to feel anything but the wetness of her tear stained pillow.

One response »

  1. […] but still have not been able to receive this promise. But now I think maybe it DID happen to me when I first believed but, because I had zero discipleship, I never learned about what I […]

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