Glitter Is Evil

You can’t say you love me and then give me a card coated in glitter. It’s rude and insensitive and quite frankly, I take it as an act of aggression…a declaration of war.

I mean, EVERYONE knows that glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts.

I don’t just speak for me but for all the contaminated fingers,  beards,  eyebrows, and faces everywhere. Stop the infestation!

Ban it I say…

            BAN IT ALL!!!

(I don’t REALLY take offense to glittery cards…it’s a joke…but, yeah, not a fan of glitter)



Response To A Stranger On Facebook

You ARE the evidence. You exist. And there is only ONE YOU. That in itself is pretty amazing.

You speak of “happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom”…Where do these things come from? Science cannot explain these things. Science is a great thing but the interpretation of science by humans is what can be flawed and biased.

The universe and everything in it has a clear and intricate DESIGN and order. A design cannot exist without a designer. Something cannot come from nothing. The fact that you exist is a miracle in itself. That’s right, YOU are a miracle. You are amazing and significant and special. Stop asking for proof and evidence from people and start asking God to reveal Himself to you. If you are truly sincere in your request He will answer you.

May the Lord bless you as I surely know He loves you.



Y’all back up off the Koolaid . . . try to be objective (you’ll probably need to look that up) if that is even possible . . . I’ll check back later – see if anyone has “seen the light” . . . No pun intended. . .


Clearly it doesn’t matter what is said to this person. Some great thoughts were shared and books containing some strong Christian apologetics recommended. There was only one comment I thought to be harsh and not helpful…

“God said, I AM. He didn’t ask your opinion. Nor does he need it.”

Other than that people were genuinely trying to help this person “see the light“. But this individual doesn’t WANT to believe. It’s not a head issue…it’s a heart issue. Funny, we’re studying Romans right now and this falls right in line with the willful suppression of God’s truth spoken of in the first chapter. It’s a spiritual blindness only God can remove. And I’m sure there’s been some hurt along the way. God knows his wounds. I prayed for him and put it in God’s glorious hands.

Seek Him First…Always

I wrote this on June 26, 2016 and saved it as a draft. Ashamed to admit I still struggle with this although I don’t cry, “Why me?” But I’m sure many people do.

The following is a good reminder to fix my eyes on Jesus and give Him praise. I keep catching myself focusing on all that is wrong and lacking in my current circumstances…but at least I catch myself so I suppose you could call that progress…

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” How many of us have fallen into the trap of crying out, “Why me?” instead of doing what Jesus told us to do? How many of us TRULY seek God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30)? Have we ever stopped to think about what that means? Have we ever stopped to ask ourselves what that entails? We all want our lives to go a certain way and we expect God to answer our prayers and to give us what we want, yet never stopping to first seek God and give Him what He DESERVES because He is worthy. He’s not a genie in a bottle, He is the Creator of the universe…

Still True

I wrote this on October 22, 2016 and saved it as a draft. It’s still true today, sadly…

I’m in a place where I can’t move forward without God intervening. I’ve been stuck in that place for a VERY long time. It feels like my purpose and gifts have been put on a back burner. I don’t look forward to anything anymore. I’ve stopped caring about a lot of things. Every so often it weighs on me more so than other days. Then I get through it and I seem to be OK with the way things are until it once again becomes almost unbearable. It’s a pattern that needs to end.

I know there’s something I need to learn yet I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m pretty sure a revelation from the Holy Spirit is needed. I hope it comes soon. I really do want to move forward.

This Is My Life

I first wrote this on March 14, 2017 and saved it as a draft (I edited a bit and added a couple lines today). Despite what I wrote in the first line, I actually did try talking to my husband again because I was in a bad way (once again). The conversation (if you can call it that) started because of a comment he made about my brother’s marriage ending. It was on the lines of, “If you’re unhappy then you should get divorced.” I proceeded to say that I wasn’t happy (it just came flying out of my mouth) but that feelings are fleeting and happiness comes and goes. I said a lot of things that night and I wish I could remember it all (I should have written about it right then) I mentioned how he doesn’t hug and how I guess that’s just the way he is and it won’t change because he’s just not wired that way. I told him how I’ve trained myself to not even want hugs from him anymore (his eyebrows may have gone up for a brief second at that)…I  mentioned a lot of things that had been weighing on me. He just sat there in silence for all of it. At the end he hugged me as I cried, but he didn’t say anything. Then he went to bed. That was a couple months ago…it’s as though I never said anything at all.

Too bad I’m way past the point of telling my husband how much I need hugs. After more than a decade of complaining about how he doesn’t hug…well, I finally gave up. He wins… Now I don’t even want hugs from him anymore. I’ve allowed that part of me to die…or did I? Did I allow it or have I just become numb to that desire? Too many times I would try to get a hug only to feel rejected. I would physically take his arms and place them around me…even then he wouldn’t squeeze. No feeling or sincerity behind it. Robots hug with more feeling. Who wants that?!?! No wonder I’m so damn miserable. And no wonder we no longer have sex. I just can’t make love to a robot (although I hear that’s a thing now…ew).

It’s great that he’s such a hard worker and provides me with all the essentials but I don’t feel loved the way I need to feel loved. This is my life.

Feeling Pathetic

How sad. I wrote this (including the title) on March 5, 2017 and saved it as a draft. Been sitting here on my ass thinking about how I really need to start going to the gym. I have a membership but don’t use it. Been asking myself why I don’t think I’m important enough to take care of myself, then I read this. Nothing has changed. Same thoughts, same struggles. This inward battle has been going on for years and I really want to overcome it. But wanting and doing are two very different things…

I’ve talked a pretty good talk on this here blog when it comes to what I should be doing and what attitude I should have. But actually walking the walk is another story.

So much for self discipline in the new year. Still not trying. Pretty much gave up on myself and I don’t know how to get back the drive. I just don’t see the point. I guess I don’t believe things will ever change so what am I trying for? I clearly don’t think I’m worth the effort. I’m so unhappy with my circumstances. I don’t see my marriage improving. It is what it is and he is who he is so there you have it. Game over. I can write on here all I want about how I just have to keep on keepin’ on and how God will provide me with all I need but, at the end of the day, I just don’t have it in me anymore. And for the record, this isn’t depression…I’m just unhappy. There’s a difference.

If I felt like I had purpose that would be something. My only current purpose in life at this point is cleaning the church bathrooms every Friday. How sad. Does anyone know if you dream while in a coma? Because if that’s true then I’d rather be in a coma for the remainder of my time on this planet.

It’s gonna have to be supernatural intervention at this point.


I just can’t allow this to be my truth anymore. Oh God, please help me.

Try Tellin’ That To A Judge

Image result for did deepak chopra really say It helps if you remember that everyone is doing their best

What a load of crap.

Deepak is making a lot of money spewing a whole lotta BS.

I came across this on Facebook and it annoyed the piss right out of me. Alright, maybe I didn’t wet my pants but COME ON!!!! Why don’t people think on things before posting? I mean, the more you mull over this statement in the ol’ noggin the less sense it makes. At least, that’s what happened for me. Every time I read it I’m reassured that this just. isn’t. true.

Sorry, but if this meme were true it most definitely WOULD NOT help, as it so falsely suggests. It would frighten the hell out of me to know that people can’t help themselves because of their level of consciousness?!?! I’d never leave the house…EVER!! And I would think this statement would piss off an awful lot of abuse victims. I was abused and my abuser knew exactly what he was doing. He was extremely “conscious” of his behavior, therefore I would say he was NOT doing his best. We all have free will and with that comes the freedom and ability to choose how we behave.

This blanket statement seems to excuse every bad behavior and removes all accountability. I would say that WE ARE ALL conscious of the fact that we can do better in life with intentionality and persistence. Therefore, if we’re conscious of this fact yet don’t try as hard as we could or should (which I, for one, am most certainly guilty of) we are then NOT doing our best. I’m so thankful I have Jesus to help me on my journey and to wipe my slate clean every time I mess up and need forgiveness. Repentance is a wonderful thing.

Maybe if he had worded it…


That would’ve made sense. And maybe that’s what he was trying to imply…then again, maybe it’s not.

And then there are stupid people…can’t fix stupid. But that’s something else entirely. (just kidding, maybe 😉 )


Nana’s Legacy

I remember the first time I made spaghetti sauce in my Nana’s honor. I was in my early twenties, living in my first apartment. I was so excited when that familiar heavenly smell hit my nostrils. And the taste was right on! She never actually showed me how to make it but I tried to recall the ingredients I remembered seeing on my plate as a child….bits of carrot, red and green peppers, mushrooms, hamburg….and little bits of info I had picked up from watching her cook were pulled up from my memory. I tried picking her brain in her later years for comparison to see if I had done it right and it all seemed to match up. I’ve since personalized it with my own flair but the taste and smell is still there. I mean, one cannot duplicate another’s sauce exactly. It’s an art-form! (but I have to say, that very first batch was almost dead on)

For a time, if you were fortunate enough to have made the list, you would have received a special jar of ‘Mama Mindy’s Sauce’. I would make giant batches of it at Christmas and jar it as gifts. I made my own labels with instructions on how it should be properly consumed (very important).  I made sure to slap a picture of Nana’s face on the top of every lid. I even got to show her a jar when she was in the nursing home. She seemed a bit confused by it and wanted to know where I got it. I don’t think she fully understood what it was but she looked delighted!

Sometimes I would bring a crock-pot-full of the sauce to my brother’s house on Christmas Eve and we would all eat and enjoy. That’s why this sauce was so important to me…it seemed to bring a warm memory I’ve always treasured. Nana’s sauce was always enjoyed by all of us TOGETHER, with her.

Friends and family alike cherish and share the same memories of meals at Nana and Nono’s house. Theresa’s love language involved food and there’s no doubt that everyone who knew her would agree. By the way, you’ve never had a hot ham and cheese sandwich until you’ve had one of hers…preferably while sitting by the pool on a warm summer day…but I digress…  I can still see us all seated at that long rectangular table (I later learned that this table was nothing more than a sheet of plywood on cinder blocks) feasting on her savory Italian spaghetti sauce. Before we sat down to eat, Nana would pull a huge block of pecorino romano cheese from the fridge meant for me and Todd. My brother and I always had cheese grating duty. Important to note: This particular type of cheese is a VITAL ingredient and condiment to the successful making and eating of this sauce. It’s just not the same without it.

At this makeshift table with the plastic protective covering sat ME at the head of the table, of all places!  My grandfather, Nono, always sat to my right and my dad to my left.  I also had my very own place-mat with my name on it along with kid-sized silverware which I thought was great. What I didn’t think so great was when Nana would make me wear a bib. But once again I digress….Nana would run around like a chicken with its head cut off waiting on everyone else. When Nono required Nana’s attention he would whistle or snap his fingers and she would come running EVERY TIME. Old-school Italian ways I guess… By the time she finally did sit down to eat we were almost finished!

My grandmother passed away two years ago today (Dec. 7, 2015) and I feel I must say, I regret the way I initially responded to reading  her obituary. When I first read it I immediately took offense and was sure to let my brother know about my disapproval (in a text, of course). I know those words were intended to lift Nana up with a bit of humor, but when I read the part that said, “…many have tried to replicate (her spaghetti sauce) over the years without success!” I was immediately offended. That’s right…I MADE MY NANA’S OBIT ABOUT ME. Sick, I know. And what may be even worse is that I complained about it on Facebook (cue in the long, drawn out GASP). I wish I had sat on my feelings and worked it out in my head instead of immediately reacting based on a self-centered emotion. I mean, how silly can one be?!?

Because I’m a thinker and wanted to understand why I got so upset, after some reflection I came to the conclusion that I had been taking pride in this sauce for close to 18 years.  So when I read in the obituary that people had tried to make her sauce but no one had ever come close, I felt as though all my efforts to carry on Nana’s legacy through her sauce had been discredited…or maybe even unnoticed.  And that’s what I had been trying to do, carry on her legacy. So much time and energy put into honoring my Nana knocked down with a few measly words. Of course that’s not what really happened… my pride got in the way and I chose to feel offended when it wasn’t even about me. But I do need to add that I hadn’t only taken offence, I was genuinely hurt. Was it wrong to feel the way I did? No. We initially feel what we feel for whatever the reason. Our feelings aren’t what’s wrong, it’s the way we choose to react based upon our feelings that becomes the infraction.

It may seem odd that I’m even mentioning this two years after the fact, but I had started writing this a while ago only to save it as a draft to later be forgotten. It’s not that I’ve been stewing over this because I haven’t (OK, maybe I did at first). The anniversary of her passing brought it back up for me and I guess it’s just not something I’m proud of. I like to get stuff out of me by writing it down and then hitting the ‘publish’ tab. It helps me put things to rest and it’s sort of an online journal for me as well.  And to be brutally honest, I care too much about what my brother thinks of me and do hope he sees this someday to know I’m not as self-centered as he probably thinks I am. But what’s most important is that I’m forgiven by the One Who matters most, so there’s that.

Making this sauce is my way of making sure the world knows about the mark Nana left and how cherished she will always be. It’s been a long while since I’ve made it….long time since I’ve made anything for that matter. Maybe it’s time.

How I Do Milk Kefir

I like to keep my kefir in the cabinet while it’s fermenting.

I leave the lid very loose and just let it do it’s thing for about 24 hours. Some people use a cotton cloth with a rubber band as a cover  but I found that what I’m doing works fine, too. I guess the idea is to let them “breathe”. There are special lids available and maybe when I have some moolah I’ll invest in some. This lady has lots of stuff (and info) here.

24 to 48 hours is all it typically takes depending on how warm your house is and how many grains you have (the warmer the house the faster the ferment). Mine multiply like crazy and I’m running out of ideas on what to do with them! Can’t throw them out because I know they’re alive and I just can’t bring myself to murder them. They have become my friends.

Can’t feed ’em to my dogs because I don’t have any…but that is what many people do. I have 6 cats but when I try to cut up the grains and hide them in their wet food they manage to pick all around them. Finicky little bastards they are!

I’m assuming the grains are full of probiotics and good for you and I’ve never gotten sick from eating them. I’ve ground them up in my blender with a smoothie but I don’t like the slimy consistency. GAG. Some call it “creamy”…I call it nasty. But that’s just me. I’ve taken small chunks and swigged them down with some milk. Milk is best. If you use water they’ll stick in your throat. You don’t want that…trust me.  Swallowing them is challenging but it’s better than cold-heartedly tossing them. I guess some people like to chew ’em right up but they’re so sour and the texture skeeves me out. But yeah, some people like the weirdest things.

Of course, the best thing to do with extra grains is to give them away…I don’t know of many people who want them (only one friend so far). But I suppose you could let people know on the Facebook Marketplace if you don’t mind dealing with strangers..which I kind of do.

So here are the steps I use when making my kefir using milk kefir grains…

Step 1… When kefir is done fermenting, strain.

You’ll know when it’s ready because the sides of the jar will look dimply. If it has fermented too long it will separate into whey and curds..this is fine. Some have dubbed the whey as ‘liquid gold’ and it can be used to culture vegetables…just one of many benefits. Strain it out into a container. I like to use a plastic strainer and a large square piece of Tupperware. I’ve heard metal will kill the grains but if it is stainless steel it should be fine. I use plastic just to be on the safe side.

Ready for straining.


The liquid pictured here is just the whey from over fermenting. It’s actually considered a superfood which contains many healing properties.


Step 2…Place grains back in the jar and pour milk directly over them.

I prefer to use raw milk but any dairy milk will work. I don’t wash the jar, either. That’s precious bacteria on the insides of that jar! Some people say to wash the jar before placing grains back in and I used to do that until I learned it wasn’t necessary and actually boosts the strength of your kefir. I may wash it after some time if it seems to be getting funky, but it’s not very often. Oh, and NEVER rinse your grains with water! They need that wonderful, slimy bacteria!! And they WILL be slimy…long, stringy, wonderful slime!

Pouring the grains back into the jar…Look at that sweet action shot!


After new milk is added, loosely place lid on top and place back in cupboard for another round of fermenting.

Step 3…I do a second ferment.

Pour strained kefir into jars and add any kind of fruit you want. The sugar in the fruit provides food for the good bacteria and second fermenting will not only increase the amount of nutrients and vitamins, but it will make it taste better. Screw the lids on nice and tight and leave on counter for 1-4 hours or half a day. I leave mine out overnight. Then I put them in the fridge until I’m ready to prepare it the way I like.

I like to use bananas for my second ferment. I will break them up into pieces and put them in Tupperware for freezing. That way I always have them on hand and they don’t go bad from over-ripening on my counter.


Make sure those lids are screwed on tight! When they’ve ‘second-fermented’ long enough put in fridge until ready.


Step 4…Making it yummy!

When I’m ready to mix it the way I want, I go grab a jar from the fridge (I have a separate, much smaller fridge I use just for storing my kefir) The longer it sits the more likely it will separate. Just give it a good shake and then be prepared for a popping sound when you twist off the top! There’s natural carbonation in there! I love when it’s good and fizzy. I pour it into my blender and add frozen berries, a bit of organic maple syrup, and cinnamon. You can add any kind of fruit you want. This is just how I prefer it. Then I pour back in jars and keep in the fridge. Whenever I want a cup of kefir I have it already made and ready to pour!

This is what it looks like when it separates.


Yum! Remember to keep those caps on tight. It will keep fermenting in the fridge, just at a much slower rate…but sometimes they can erupt if left too long (hence the tight lids)!


Sometimes I have too much kefir already made. When that happens I just keep the jar of grains in the fridge until I’m ready to strain them. Just make sure you have done the fermenting time in room temperature FIRST before placing in the fridge. That goes for second ferments, too.



Lesson Learned

Motorcycle safety tip of the day:

Always check your tires.

Apparently I’ve been riding around on a bald tire but didn’t notice due to my rear fender hiding most of it. From the side it looked deceivingly fine.

So glad I always pray a prayer of protection before setting off on my rides!

Rick still seems a bit dumbfounded…he noticed my tire was flat yesterday after I stated I was planning on a ride for today. Upon closer inspection he could see the tire had been worn all the way down to the canvas! These tires weren’t brand new but they were supposed to be decent. Rick was surprised at how worn out it was but there’s no reason it should have been flat. I said there is a reason….God! If my tire hadn’t been flat I would have taken it out as usual which could have turned out to be a fatal decision. Rick said I could have died. I said God is always protecting me.

But, yeah…I will definitely be more careful from now on. God’s protection doesn’t give me license to be foolish! Lesson learned.