It’s Gonna Be A Long Night

On the way out of the polls a girl holding a cardboard sign with the words “Do you need a hug?” asked us if we needed a hug. So I gave her a big ol’ bear hug…

Rick said he’d let her know tomorrow.

It’s Getting Worse

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It would be nice if this idea were true (the clearing up part, that is…not the permanent agitation). I mean, it’s been like sixteen months of constant, in-your-face election madness. A girl can only take so much.

I hate going out in public like this. I’ve even been avoiding church because I don’t want to be around people. Feeling extremely self-conscious. (OK, so I MAY have exaggerated the redness for effect in the above meme. Wanted to get the point across, but mentally that’s how red I think it looks when I’m out in public) img_0862

I ordered some milk thistle supplements and some E45 cream online. It’s been suggested to me that it might be a liver issue, so maybe the milk thistle will help detox my liver and clear up this crap. It could be diet, too. I also suffer from allergies so I just don’t know. It’s probably a combination of things.

Milk thistle should be arriving on election day…how ironic.

For The Grammar Nazis

 

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Couldn’t decide which one I liked better…..

 

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Make. It. Stop.

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After doing a little research, I think the actual medical term might be Periorificial Dermatitis? First developed this when I was twelve. Dermatologist told me it was eczema and that I would always have it (real encouraging). It was only around my nose and under my ears at that time. Then it went away during my teen years and didn’t rear its’ ugly head again until my late thirties. Now it has spread and is forming around my eyes which has never happened before. Just want it to go away.

I was free and clear for the last three years but here we are again. They say stress can be a factor and this ridiculously long-ass election can’t be over soon enough! If this crap on my face doesn’t start to clear up on the 9th then it will be due to the outcome following this damn nightmare of an election…or it’s just due to my life in general.

Sigh.

 

His Gratitude Still Shows

 

Gilbert loves his daddy soooo much! ❤

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Click to read Gilbert’s backstory.

I Know That You Know That I Know That You Know

Just sharing a Facebook memory from one year ago today…

To the woman standing in the Vista parking lot…. I honestly thought you were waiting for me to pass by so you could cross. But as I went by I heard you say, “Yeah. Speed up, asshole!” I know you know I heard you. I know you saw the look of shock on my face as I slowed down to look at you in disbelief. It was hurtful and I may have even shed a couple tears, but I forgive you. I even prayed for you because you looked extremely miserable and angry with life in general. Know that I would never deliberately be an “asshole” to anyone. Actually, I would like to thank you for showing me just how much I have grown. Normally, that would have set my mood for the rest of the day. I would have worn it like a badge of shame for angering a complete stranger. And being able to tell Lisa (my neighbor downstairs) about the mean lady right when I got home helped too. Thanks Lisa! And praise God for all the healing I’ve experienced over this last year and a half!

Dead To Self, Alive In Christ

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Lake Opechee…August 14, 2016

My first baptism was as a baby so I don’t count that one. After all, I had no idea what was going on at the time. You could say that the dribbling of water over my tiny noggin was for my parents’ benefit, not my own. I’m a firm believer in one getting baptized when one is aware of its’ meaning and symbolism. And years later I turned down confirmation because I knew I didn’t belong in the Catholic church. The priest actually agreed with me! It was my mother who was disappointed.

So my first true baptism was twenty years ago. I was twenty-one years old and felt I should get baptized because I knew, as a believer, I was called to do so. It was the same type of setting as seen above, but instead of a lake it was a small pond at the local park of my hometown. A lot of people turned up for it which I did not expect. I don’t recall inviting anyone but I must have because it turned into a big thing which kind of left me feeling awkward and on the spot. I remember holding a permanent smile on my face to show my family how “good” I now was. I tried so hard to appear as though I finally had it all together. I even hugged the two gentlemen who dunked me because I had seen the kid before me do it so I thought it was a good idea. Had zero clue on how to be myself  because I hadn’t a clue on who I was to begin with. But I knew getting baptized was the right thing to do and I’m glad I did it.

I know getting baptized isn’t some magical act that causes one to suddenly become perfect, but at that time in my life I think I may have looked at it that way…as if it meant a do-over where I could start all fresh and new and never mess up again. So when I almost immediately started screwing up and making MAJOR life mistakes…well, to say I felt like a failure would be an understatement. I have a better understanding of God’s forgiveness now but I still don’t fully grasp its’ meaning. Logically I know that every time I sincerely confess my sins and ask the Lord for His forgiveness I am washed white as snow. My slate is wiped clean. As far as the east is from the west God remembers my sins no more. He forgets. Wish I could!

During the first ten years after my baptism I experienced a lot of pain…a lot of hurt. Major heart ache and struggles. It’s taken me many, many years to let a lot of it go. Some feelings of resentment still haunt me but God knows I’m genuinely trying to forgive. Thank God Almighty for His grace. The second half of the twenty year span wasn’t as bad because I had my husband, but I still experienced major bouts of severe depression and it was a difficult time. It’s been a long process of healing but I was finally delivered of depression in April, as I have shared in previous posts. SO, since it had been twenty years since my first public profession of faith, I felt it was a good time for a renewal. I love what the water baptism symbolizes. As we go under we die to self…we even stop breathing! Then when we rise up out of our watery grave we are a new creation! 2 Corinthians 5:17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

I’ve experienced so many changes over the last two decades…so many changes. I have grown a lot, especially over these last two years. I may not be where I want to be but THANK GOD I’m not where I used to be! I’m closer to the Lord than I’ve ever been and look forward to getting even closer to Him and gaining a deeper understanding of who He is and how much He loves me. I want more.

I’ll Take Them All Please

So, after expressing concern about our limited funds and what I should or shouldn’t buy, my husband sort of convincingly but not really says, “Get whatever you want!”

Hmmm…     (long pause)

Hmmmmmmm…    (some more thinking ensues)

Ah yeah, feels like a trap. Tempting though.

 

Smoke and Mirrors

Some people have the best lives. I almost get jealous…then I remember it’s just Facebook.

Facebook-Induced Insomnia

When someone posts a politically slanted article that you feel compelled to comment on and then you can’t sleep from anxiety of anticipated negative/rude responses that are sure to follow said comment so you get up at 3:44 am to delete it because you just don’t want to deal with backlash. Just don’t want to deal. Period.